merely existing...

Sometimes, I feel that I just exist and not living...  I know it is a fantasy to dream of a perfect world in an imperfect world.. Maybe that is why I love watching Korean dramas because in a way I can temporarily feel how it is like, living in reel world...

I felt like I am trying but it is still not enough, I know, I  procrastinate at times.. but I get tired too. Don't I deserve to at least give myself a time to do my own thing? 

Or am I not allowed since I need to do  1.... so on of things at home..

I think the reality of me not earning my own money is getting into me.. I felt I don't deserve to complain or feel bad because I don't contribute anything to this household.. I know that is not right...
My pride is slowly getting into me..  

breathe... 

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