tHiNkiN' oUt LoUd

 I'm back! I was planning to post a blog last Sunday because it's mother's day, but I procrastinated until I forgot about it. I've been busy lately, going back and fort to shopping centers because I need a dress or something to wear this Saturday for a semi-formal party which I am not used to.. I am a jeans and shirt plus sneakers kind of gal.. It's so stressful, specially if you have an apple bod like moi... Anyways, going back to topic... Food I ate/eating... I ate smoked salmon and black rice for dinner, ang some dumplings for brunch..  Honestly, I am not a fan of brown, red or whatever rice.. I just got curious with the black rice, which they say is much "healthier" and "fat-free", and I liked it! I thought only quinoa can substitute for my ever favorite white rice... but no.. Black rice tops it! But then again, it  pricey... so I guess I can alternate it with quinoa.. Yes, I am TRYING to be fit ( crossing my fingers) I realize it is  ...

Sometimes, I feel that I just exist and not living...  I know it is a fantasy to dream of a perfect world in an imperfect world.. Maybe that is why I love watching Korean dramas because in a way I can temporarily feel how it is like, living in reel world... I felt like I am trying but it is still not enough, I know, I  procrastinate at times.. but I get tired too. Don't I deserve to at least give myself a time to do my own thing?  Or am I not allowed since I need to do  1.... so on of things at home.. I think the reality of me not earning my own money is getting into me.. I felt I don't deserve to complain or feel bad because I don't contribute anything to this household.. I know that is not right... My pride is slowly getting into me..   breathe...