tHiNkiN' oUt LoUd

Last Sunday I got really pissed, with me and my migraine and my lil' boy throwing tantrums.. my string of patience broke down again... it always does that is why I always pray for more patience and I guess God gives me a handful situation that would normally piss me off to test my patience. Out of 10 test I guess I passed once or twice.. yeah! I know! Anyways, I lost my patience and had thrown my tatrums too! hahahah! We went back home, I was supposed to go with my hubby to that toy conference thingy but I was pissed so I stayed home. Then cook, then went out on my own. Because I was sooo pissed I bought a pair of clothes.. I know.. we're broke and struggling financially.. I don't know what's gotten into me.. I just realize I didt something weird when I was already looking at the credit card slip and receipt. Anyways I failed another nerve-wrecking test of patience. I hope God would grant my husband work soon!

Last night me and my hubby suddenly realized that we're reaching the end of the string... I was happy earlier that day because my UD 15th anniversary palette is already delivered. I ordered that not knowing, my hubby would lose his bread and butter. Anyways, then we realize that 15th is the day we need to pay our monthly rental for our room, and the school fees for corbin and my loan and a whole lot more. It's kinda getting into our system that we need to worry.. worry.. that's one thing I often do that I tried to remove from my way of living. I am learning to entrust everything to God. But when these bills keeps coming right at your face, its a struggle not to think about it and to worry about tomorrow. Good thing we were able to divert our worried faces to the funny storry we are watching.. it's the korean drama Secret Garden that I think I've watched it 3 times already. I am happy watching it with my hubby who never really liked watching korean drama or any sorts

I never believed in things that are so absurd and close to impossibility. I didn't realize that I should. Because God can do all things not possible with men. I tried it and was overwhelmed with His amazing power. I hope the Lord continues to bless and show us the path He chose for our family and for my hubby. Thank you Lord for your never ending love and protections. Although I'm not perfect, and I throw tantrums at You before, yet You never failed to love me, it never changes the fact that You with all your Glory loved someone like me. Thanks for Your "saving grace" I will forever be free from bondage because of you! Thanks you so much and I hope I can give more love that You truly deserves.

Pressed down.. I was browsing over my tumblr account and saw this cute bean bag that looks like a tired cat, lying on the floor, looking tired and weak. I suddenly realize I was feeling that way too. I think not just me but me and my hubby. We're kinda pressed down with a big solid rock weighing us down, and we keep struggling to get up but because the rock is to heavy we're pressed down on the ground.  We've been struggling.. for years and years now... financially. There are times that seems to be ok.. but most of the time its not. Since the day I gave birth to my son, up to now, it seems like a never ending struggle for us. At times it is bearable but there are times its too heavy. I am still thankful that the Lord is there to give us strength. Right now, another problem hits us. I do not know what the Lord wants us to learn from these situation but still we have to accept it no matter what. We just have to be thankful that it is just money and not health or anything more